My throat still works and my fingers are not broken!

I know, I know I know, I have not written in awhile and you were wondering if I was doing ok, or if my fingers had fallen off and I was unable to type, or something else equally as horrible. To tell you the truth, it was just the opposite!  I felt pretty darn good last week--far better than I expected to, and I continue to feel pretty good this week (with a couple of exceptions that I will get to in a bit) but I just couldn't bring myself to write here . . . . I think I was just tired of being "Cancer Girl" and in a bit of denial.  Anyway, SORRY!  I know you guys love me, and check in on me here, and worry (based on the phone calls and emails when I don't write! :) ) so I will try to do better from now on!

So, first the medical update.  As of today, July 21st, I am just over 1/3 of the way done with treatment!!  Woohoo! Yippee!  Hurray! The total treatment plan is 32 consecutive weekdays of radiation (6 and 1/2 weeks worth, not the 36 -40 treatments that we had originally thought!) For 10 of those days I get chemo as well.  So far I have had 12 radiation treatments and 5 days of chemo.  I will continue radiation only treatments through the end of July (this week and next) and then do another week of chemo/radiation August 3-7. Then 7 more radiation treatments after that, finishing on August 18th. When you break it all down like that, it seems like a walk in the park--and so far, it hasn't been horrible, just moderately awful.  

Everyone expresses stress in different ways and apparently for me, the key to my well being is all rolled up (maybe literally) in my digestive system. They can't really offer me any other explanation as to why my intestines refuse to function in anywhere close to a normal manner. After about 10 days of 3 different meds a day, and a big swing from not working at all to working in overdrive, they seem to be settling down to something resembling normal--or at least predictable.  You have NO idea what a difference this makes in my overall outlook on the world.  I am still able to talk normally and  I am not yet dependent on the tube to eat (so far I just put any disgusting tasting medicines down it and this morning . . . .a cup of coffee!  More about that in a minute) I am far more tired than usual -- a two hour nap every day is  almost a requirement-- and my throat is starting to close in--feels like I am swallowing past a big grape sized something stuck in there, but it doesn't really hurt.

By far the WORST side effect so far is that my sense of taste is GONE. For the most part, everything tastes like some version of metallic dishwater.  Hence, the coffee (utterly disgusting right now in terms of taste but I need the caffeine fix) down the tube this morning!  Sweet is sometimes better than salty but nothing tastes like it should and only a few things taste like I want to swallow them at all.  I was practically in tears this weekend when a piece of cherry cheesecake that I was so looking forward to, didn't have any taste at all!  ( So, for you guys who are bringing dinners--I am still eating and appreciating them.  Jason and Charlie are eating, appreciating, and tasting them!) Most people do get their sense of taste back -- in 9 months to a year--and no, unfortunately, I am not exaggerating that time frame. So far, I have not needed any pain meds beyond the occasional Tylenol so I have been able to drive myself to and from treatments. The docs are warning that that is likely to change by the end of next week and that I may be moving to the liquid diet down the tube by then as well.  All I can do is wait and see.  

The other big side effect they keep warning me about is the mucous. Yes, I know, totally gross. Apparently there are mucous glands in your throat and apparently they are very irritated by radiation therapy, which causes them to overproduce this goo that I will then have to spit out on something like an every  10 minute basis.  When I asked when this would start and how long it would last, the nurse was pleased to tell me that she was surprised that it hadn't started by now and that it would hopefully be winding down about 6 weeks after treatment ended. Hello?!?! I beg your pardon? 10 weeks of hacking up goo, reminiscent of the worst head cold I've ever had?  "Why yes, she responded, it is  a lot like that, except . . . sometimes it's sort of ropy and hard to spit out." Lord, let the horror movie begin.  At least I won't be able to taste it.

That's it for the medical side of things, other than that, it was a week for in-laws (both the official and unofficial kind! ) Jason's folks were here last week and we got to spend some time researching/chatting/ suggesting things for the new house they are building on the farm in Alabama. SO much fun, you know that I am ready to build again right now, I love the process! Even more fun when it is their stuff and therefore their $$ and we get to reap the rewards by having an amazing place to visit!  Plus, they were overdue for a visit and it was great to see them while I still felt reasonably well. Matt and Keri, Jason's brother and sister-in-law, will be here on Friday with the twins.  I can't wait.  Justin and Abigail will be 5 in a few weeks--so funny right now and Matt and Keri make me laugh-always!   I also heard from almost all of my could-have-been in-laws this week!  I am so lucky in that regard.  Though I have never had a type of guy that I fall for.  I have always fallen for guys with GREAT families.  In fact, I have fallen head over heals in love with the families of almost every guy I have ever dated (breaking up with the him has never been as hard as breaking up with the them)  Luckily, most of the thems have continued to stay in touch! Adam's sister Joy, religiously comments on the blog which I love, and I got another sweet note with an angelic picture from his parents, Jim and Katy, this week. I think Mark's whole family has called or emailed me.  I have always kept in great touch with his mom, Mary Ann, but I hear often from Terri, Carrie, and Sharon too, and last week I got a wonderful email from Meredith, his now grown up niece that I have known since she was 5--she's in her 20's now!  (Mere--I loved hearing from you!)  Erik's mom, Susan, calls, or types, or sends something almost every week and his Uncle George and Aunt Betty, two of my favorite people on the planet, sent me wild strawberry jam, made from strawberries picked in the meadows of Little Horse Creek.  (and I ate almost half the jar before my sense of taste gave out!)  I know that I have mentioned this here before but it bears repeating,  I believe that the true gift of this disease is consciously being made aware of all the people on the planet who have touched my life.  Much gratitude to all of you for your love, support and prayers! Lucky, lucky me.  I will type again soon--I promise!